Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Hard time making ends meet since we cut your salary? Try dumpster diving!

Bankrupt Northwest Airlines, in an effort to help out employees smarting from wage and salary cuts, distributed a booklet to some of them containing such suggestions as:

1. Shop in thrift stores
2. Take a date for a walk instead of to a restaurant or movie
3. Don't be "shy about pulling something you like out of trash"

I'm sure President and CEO Doug Steenland will find the above tips very helpful as well, since after his own salary cut he is pulling down just barely over half a mil in annual salary.

Hey, half a mil doesn't go as far as it used to, folks. Do you KNOW what they are getting for Armani suits down at the Salvation Army store these days?


david said...

"Don't be afraid of pulling something out of trash."

That sounds like a manual that Catbert the Evil Director of Human Resources would have thought up.

Chris said...

2. Take a date for a walk instead of to a restaurant or movie.

Sure, then watch date keep walking as she looks for someone who can afford to take her to a restaurant or a movie.

By the way, did you watch "Sane Man" yet? Any good?

Spooney said...

2. Take a date for a walk instead of to a restaurant or movie.

Yeah, I walked the shit outta that chick last night!

SJ said...

are you fucking kidding me? Do they actually think things like this HELP and not bring out the wrath and the scorn and the disgust from those they're trying to 'help'?

fried_blue said...

Crazy. It seems like smart NW Airlines employees would quit their jobs and work in airport security.
Well at least there would be all that free stuff, like wine and knives, that passengers had to leave behind. Good quality stuff that you don't have to fish out of a dumpster.

Joking aside, I really do think it is crazy the extent to which these people are being screwed by their company.

yo sisters cube mate said...

They forgot to remind the employees there are usually free donut pieces left in the conference rooms after the big wigs leave.

vikkitikkitavi said...

David: Taking items out of the trash at work will be grounds for termination, however.

Chris: Sane Man was good in that grainy, rough, early-work kind of way. Don't bother with the extras though, unless you are a sucker for punishment.

Spooney: Can we keep our personal lives out of this, please??

SJ: Kinda reminds me of a certain former first lady, who thought that the Houston Astrodome was plenty luxurious for some types of refugees.

Fried Blue: Do you think that airport bounty has shown up on eBay yet?

YSCM: Excellent tip!

Spooney said...

"Old pizza boxes are an excellent source of cheese"
- Herb Simpson (Homer's half-bother)