Tuesday, August 01, 2006

US out of California!

That's my new motto. Because as the world's sixth largest economy (ahead of Canada, Italy, and China!! Fuck yeah!!), we can stand on our own just fine. And...really, I feel like we have outgrown the United States. I mean, sure, the US was fine when we were young, and we just wanted to be protected, and we really didn't have any ideas of our own, but now we are just so much more mature than the US, and I just think it's time to break up. I'm sure the US will be sad at first, because they totally get more income from us than they give us back in federal dollars (whatever!) but after a few weeks they will see that the breakup is what's best for both of us.

So, anyway, our governator was totally going behind Bush's back this week and signed an emissions agreement with another country. Great Britain - can you believe it?! So cool. Lots of musicians live there, you know.

I know you 49 other bitches (And you can suck it, Puerto Rico. You think you're so hot because of Miss Universe or whatever but you are not, okay?) are so going to jump down our throats for acting like a nation when we are not one yet but we are just expressing ourself. We have the 12th largest emissions in the world, you know. We are not a baby. And we need to do something to take control. What are we, supposed to wait around for the US to take care of us??? Yeah, like that has worked SO WELL in the past. I mean come on, we are even patrolling our own borders now, and why? Because the US couldn't do it. They had to ask us for help. We said it's totally not our job but I guess if you can't do it then we will have to help out. What else could we say? Maybe the US should not have spent so much money overseas and we would not have to embarrass ourself in this way.

And don't even get me started on the whole stem cell research thing. It's like they are trying to drive us away, which is fine because, like I said, it is so over anyway.

So who's on board with me? Yay!! Let's all matching buy t-shirts and get this party rockin!!!


(thanks to Brent for the t-shirt link)

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Count me in!

Spooney said...

Me too!

vikkitikkitavi said...

That's it?! One anonymous dude and my boyfriend (who has to agree with me)?

Fuckin' pathetic.

Well, Spooney, I bought you a shirt and by god you are going to wear it!

Spooney said...

The sad thing is that anonymous person was also me. So I guess we'll have the New Republic of California all to ourselves!

grooveva said...

Wait i know I'm late but I'm in! Can I please wear the t-shirt too? PLLEEEAASEE

vikkitikkitavi said...

Spooney: When you gonna figure out how the comments work, huh?

Grooveva: Of course. The Democratic Republic of California (What do you think? It's too long, right?) does not exclude the tardy. We LOVE the tardy.

Anonymous said...

oh my god you make me laugh so hard-jen

Spooney said...

Shut up.
I just forgot the name part.

Devang said...

The Enron thing was bad, the administration totally said f.u. specifically to the state of California on that one, but you can't leave because of that... there'll be another administration along which won't be nearly as bad.

ok, if you do leave, people from Kansas can still visit right?

vikkitikkitavi said...

Oh, we're leaving all right.

But anyone can visit.

Anyone who can get a visa, that is.