Monday, August 28, 2006

Onward Christian Soldiers

Man, I am just waiting for the Christians to get all up in this crazy old cunt's shit.

First of all, thanks to everyone who emailed me on Katherine Harris's interview with that Baptist rag. You know me too well.

It's difficult to wip up much indignation over the opinions of someone who is quite clearly grappling with mental illness, but she IS running for the US Senate as a Republican - although even the Republicans have the good sense to feign puzzlement and ask "Who?" when you say her name.

I feel like it does very little good to point out the deficiencies of the bat-shit crazy and the attention-starved, which is why I so infrequently post on Coulter, but you know who is pissing me off in this whole deal?

Well, Christians, Republican Christians, Presbyterians (Harris is one), Florida Christians, Florida Baptists, Republican Christian Women - can any of these groups, can JUST ONE of them, or another similar group - hell you know there's thousands of them out there - release some kind of fucking statement saying that as far as they're concerned, Katherine Harris is out of her Jesus-lovin' mind and does NOT, in fact, represent their point of view when she says that:

"We have to have elected officials in government and we have to have the faithful in government and over time, that lie we have been told, the separation of church and state, people have internalized...because God is the one who chooses our rulers."

or

"If you are not electing Christians, tried and true, under public scrutiny and pressure, if you’re not electing Christians then in essence you are going to legislate sin."

or my personal favorite:

"And that will take western civilization, indeed other nations because people look to our country as one nation as under God and whenever we legislate sin and we say abortion is permissible and we say gay unions are permissible, then average citizens who are not Christians, because they don’t know better, we are leading them astray and it’s wrong."

Awww... Katherine Harris is looking out for me and my feeble non-Christiany attempts to lead a decent life.

So where are the denouncements of Harris? It's awful fucking quiet up in that Christian mug, y'all.

And don't say that her views on this are too radical for the Christians to even comment on. Her views are more wide-spread among them than we think, it's just that most of them have the good sense to keep their mouths shut about it.

Just the other day I was wearing my "Moral Atheist" t-shirt to the grocery store, and...shut up, I live in LA...and this woman looks at my shirt and says "Are you?" "Am I what?" I said. She points at my shirt with a few jerks of her head and purses her lips. "Oh," I say quite sincerely, "yes, I am."

She rolls her eyes at me and marches away.

Because how dare I? Pretend to be moral. How dare I?

The voters of Florida won't reject Harris because of her outrageous opinions or her disregard for the US Constitution, they'll reject her because she's a creepy, vain, overly made-up attention whore who reminds them of that scary stalking girlfriend they once had.

Oh, and by the way, she's since amended her remarks to...wait for it...include the Jews!

See, she MEANT to say "Christians AND Jews" when she was talking about all that legislating sin stuff. Christians AND Jews.

And I'm sure her clarification was so totally NOT prompted by one of her aides taking her aside after the interview and whispering to her that there "are, like, a TON of Jews in Florida!"

All other religions apparently need not apply for inclusion in the "Stop the Legislation of Sin" club.

6 comments:

Megan said...

Fucking crazy-ass Christians. I'm impressed with ability to articulate clear, logical ideas in the face of such mind-numbing ignorane (Harris' I mean).

Like the average citizen looks to the likes of Katherine Harris for guidance on being a good person. At least I hope not.

And I want that t-shirt!

Chris said...

Vikki-great post. The thing that always burns me is when Christians think I'm not Christian because I'm lazy or haven't given the matter any thought. Fuck thatand fuck them! How arrogant. I've given the matter a lot of thought. I just happen to think that a lot of what goes along with a Christian belief- the guilt, the bullshit rituals, the self-importance, the mythology - is pointless. You don't need the church to be a good person.

Skylers Dad said...

My favorite comment on Christians came from Dennis Miller years ago when he still did good standup routines:

"People ask me a lot if I am born again, I tell them no, I got it right the first time"

vikkitikkitavi said...

Megan: If you wear that t-shirt, look out, baby.

Chris: Thanks, baby. You know, to me, Christianity is all about arrogance, and they're not alone, either.

SDad: Yeah, remember when Dennis Miller was funny?

Grant Miller said...

You just hate Bush.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Or I just hate Bush.