Friday, August 18, 2006

U-G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi! You're ugly! Hey, hey, you're ugly!

Yes! Megan over at By and By has written a post on the ugliness of Crocs.

This is a favorite topic of mine. My sister has been known to post a word or two about them as well.

I believe the Croc trend started in Denver (or more correctly, Boulder) and has infected the whole damn country. I'm not blaming them...well, okay, I am, but whilst I blame, I also bear in mind that the denizens of LA were pretty much responsible for the whole Uggs thing.

And for that, we apologize.

I know, I know, everyone rhapsodizes about how "comfortable" they are. "They're the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn!!", people exclaim ecstatically.

But you know what? My terry cloth romper is extremely comfortable. So are my sweat pants. So are my 10-year-old fleece slippers. So are my nylon WNBA logo shorts with the elastic waist. But I do not wear any of those things IN PUBLIC!!!

"Comfort" has been used to justify ugly-ass apparel since the beginning of time, y'all. Remember Earth Shoes? What about caftans, and their tropical cousin, the muumuu? I'm sure the Romans were always going on and on to the Visigoths about how freakin' comfortable togas were.

And look what happened to them.

Ok, fine. Whatever. Don't stop wearing them. Wear your Crocs in public where I will be forced to see them, and point, and comment snidely to my boyfriend. And while you're at it, why don't you put on some mom jeans, and a wolf t-shirt, and an American flag vest.

See if I care.


Megan said...

God, how would you match your crocs to THAT outfit?

GETkristiLOVE said...

Here, here!


Megan said...

Wait, you have a terry cloth romper?!

Grant Miller said...

I've seen guys wear them a lot lately.

Also, I'd like to applaud you observation on the high number of Dunkin Donuts in Boston and the lack of Starbucks.

Spooney said...

The flag vest is totally whack, but I just ordered one of them sweet Wolf Sunset shirts! Nexy BH show I'm gonna be workin the crowd up into a frenzy with baby!

david said...

Remember my song, to the tune of "Sweet Home, Chicago"? The verse for San Francisco was:

The folks from San Francisco
They wear the cutest shoes;
But if you're wearin' Crocs or Keenes
Then you can't sing the Blues!...

vikkitikkitavi said...

Megan: Go with red and fuck 'em.

GKristiL: I KNEW I could get you riled up.

Megan: Doesn't everyone? And no, you cannot have a photo. It is white and yellow. There are daisies involved. That's all I am saying.

Grant: Can't you just say you got nothin when you got nothin?

Spooney: Plus, it'll go nice with your dolphin sweatpants.

David: Am I to gather, then, that the folks from San Francisco have taken to the Crocs? If so, it's a typical NoCal pussy move.

Spooney said...

"Spooney: Plus, it'll go nice with your dolphin sweatpants."

Are you insane? You can't wear a sea mammal & land mammal together!It'll go with the bear sweatpants.

yo sisters cube mate said...

Right on Spooney! Now *there's* some real fashion advice!

Mazur said...

I have spent the last four years living in Boulder, and I wish to appologize publicly for any role I played in the croc epidemic. I first noticed them on the feet of the nice woman I bought my bong from several years ago and have been talking shit ever since. But talking shit is not enough. I should have broken things. But now it's too late.

I failed you all.

I failed America.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Spooney: When did you get so conservative? It's like I'm dating a Republican. A Republican from Nebraska.

YSCM: What do you work for Brooks Bros. now?

Mazur: Admitting you have a problem is the first step.